My parents chose my wife, now how do I proceed?
Hi Alex,
What relationship advice can you give a couple that is just starting out, one that has been set up by parents. We have not had a chance to learn allot about each other. It is customary that parents find one a bride or a husband but I feel that I should have some part to play in the matter since I am going to be living with this decision for the rest of my life. We are already having some communication issues in our first year together. Please help.
Fauz-Indiana.
Dear Fauz,
Thank you, yours is an interesting question. It can be tricky trying to preserve your parents/cultural concerns in today’s western culture. Fauz, I would have loved to get more info from you, and also hear what your wife has to say. But don’t worry; you will overcome this initial challenge.
First of all, I would request that you open up, and start expressing your feelings/desires to your wife. I would request that you also learn to listen to her needs. Listening is a skill I teach in my seminars, and trust me; you will solve a lot of the problems, if you could truly listen to your wife.
By the way, Fauz, why did your parents choose your wife, as the best for you? May be this could be a good starting point. Could you list 10 of those reasons why they think she is the best? May be this is a good time to sit down and have a heart to heart chat with your parents.
Fauz, I would recommend that you read Chapter Six in the, 10 Steps to Success in Love and Marriage. You will learn how to become a better spouse, and also learn how to help her become a better spouse. You will learn how to build a joyful family. This book is available in many good bookstores, libraries and also in my online store at http://shop.bestlovingskills.com/ I am interested in knowing your progress.
Alex, the Love Teacher
Building Joyful Families
Reply to this